Getting Unlost In Relationships When You Are A HAP (Highly Aware Person)! By Jeni Be

Have you ever been so close to someone that you could anticipate their every need? Finish their sentences? Know exactly how to take care of them so they were the most comfortable?
If so, you may be a highly aware person (or X-Men—with capacities that people misidentify or misunderstand), although most people probably call you “sensitive” (or even “over-sensitive”).
This level of awareness is actually a capacity, but the trick with being a highly aware person is making sure you don’t lose yourself or give you up along the way.
This becomes especially important in relationships, where a highly aware person can end up spending all their time anticipating and delivering the needs of their loved ones, and never including or even seeking clarity on their own desires.


For X-Men , there are no lines or barriers between them and anyone else. Think of each person as a giant radio receiver, getting information from different channels all the time. A highly aware person is a radio receiver with no way to tune out the different channels, turn the volume down, or turn it off!
A highly aware person is acutely attuned to and constantly picking up:

• Other people’s emotions…
• Other people’s thoughts…
• Other people’s bodies…
• Other people’s judgments, prejudices, preferences, and points of view…

So you can be extremely attuned to picking up what other people’s desires and needs are, and usually they will automatically do everything they can to fulfill them, without ever questioning it. In fact, they are so good at it, they become better at knowing what others want than what they want for themselves.
The danger here is when they don’t have an awareness of what they truly desire, it becomes all too easy to negate themselves for others, rather than include themselves as well.


As an X-Men , how do you make sure you don’t get lost amongst the throng of everyone else’s needs, desires, and points of view?
First of all, acknowledge your level of awareness is actually a capacity. This “radio-receiver” way of being is normal for highly aware people, so they often don’t see it as a greatness. What if this ability can be used to your advantage, and you didn’t have to lose you, either? Rather than make you wrong for being so aware of other people’s perspectives, acknowledge you could ask the question, “What can I do with this capacity I never considered?”


Second, take steps to add you and your desires back into the picture. You may be aware of what other people want from you, but you don’t have to deliver! If you do deliver, is it going to create something greater for everyone, including you? This is the question you need to start asking on a daily basis, as well as: “If I included myself here, what would I choose?” “What would work for me?” and “What choice could I make that would create something greater for everyone?”


Third, don’t make other people’s stuff your stuff. Just because you are aware of it or think it …. does it make it you? No, it just makes you aware! From now own, before buying into all opinions and judgements and expectations from others, ask: “Who does this point of view belong to?” Is it actually your point of view or did you pick it up from somewhere or someone else with that extreme awareness of yours? When you ask this you will start to notice how much you are truly picking up from elsewhere, and you will begin to have a greater sense of you in the process.
As a highly aware person, you have abilities and insights that others don’t—are you willing to use them to your advantage and take care of you, too?

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ABOUT THE AUTHOR  JENI BE
I am an Access Consciousness® Certified Facilitator and a Psychotherapist who has been working with clients for over 27 years.
Beyond the clinical background that I already have, Access tools have opened up so much for me!

What are tools and what way do you use them?
Well... tools are techiques and questions that are simple, and easy to use in an every day way.
Where in your life have you been stuck ?
With relationships, health, your body, pain, anxiety, sleep problems? 
Some of the techniques I use include facilitation, body processes®, Bars® energetic symphony sessions and verbal processing ...  
come say hi to me on   www.jenibe.com