A Different View on Death and Dying by Jeni Be
I found this today .. I wrote it 3 years ago and never posted it...
Today is the anniversary of my Fathers death .. one year on…
In these circumstances tears are normal, and yes I have cried a lot today.
My body would love a big hug from him! A squidgy Daddys & little girl hug that I & my body misses.
A hug that says it will be all right I am here…Its ok, me and your mum have you.
It is easy to go into grief and cry and sob.. and remember what I and my body has ‘lost'.
and ….with the gift of access tools, there is an allowance and space of more,
much more to be available to me … yes, there are other possibilities !!!
What is it with Grief?
what Possibilities are they you might ask...
Part of this is so totally beyond words, its energies we shut ourselves down from .
Would you allow me to explore that with you ?
Well…When My Dad was still "alive" he would dismiss any of this choice beyond death as “Mumbo Jumbo”.
He firmly believed, “ when you're Dead! ...end of !..you are Dead’.
It was a conversation he had many walls up against and wouldn’t receive the discussion of anything beyond
his point of view.
“I am a man of science” he would say. As if that determined it all.
I on the other hand always was asking about the beyond, searching and seeking for whoever could shine a
light on what I knew was possible, that I did not know yet how to word.
My journey is never-ending like a quest for more I continue to search to ask and to choose. I ask what is
lighter beyond what we are taught told and the defined and confined view on death.
When he was dying of terminal heart failure, we had a few deep discussions of possibilities beyond the normal
way of thinking. We spoke of Columbus and his sailing to the ‘edge of the world” the fact that many
never believed there were possibilities beyond flat earth.
We spoke about religion and the fixed beliefs that brings up, the power of where only a certain few can
“talk to the Deceased’…
He still saw anything beyond his fixed point of view as 'mumbo jumbo’.
The fear that death brings up is strange to me as I see it so much as the birth of something else.
I held his hand, a year ago when he was taking the last breath in his body, there was a fear there and
also something else ...a new energy , an adventure of possibilities.
As gave him some symphony of possibilities energies, there was a sharp breath and a sigh and he left his body.
With tears running down my face I journeyed with him into a space of all infiniteness …
the fear that he had, was gone, he beamed a smile and a golden glow that I have no words for…
and he dispersed into a space that was so vast, I could not follow.
His ‘dead” body called me. I put my hands on it and gifted the processes I knew Gary Douglas and
Dain Heer would gift. My own body howling and racking with sobs …
I honoured and was grateful for all his body had given me, given him and been for all of the family.
For truth, if it wasn’t for his body, my body would not be here :)
For 3 weeks after he died his body asked me to gift and receive energies with it.
This was something that truly amazed me, this consciousness of the body, the ongoing gift of the body.
I am so grateful, honoured and privileged to receive this gift of wonderment.
When both of my parents died, we continued to chat. Some may see this as my own 'mind creation'.
I percieve somethng so differnt.
We would chat and clear points of view, to let go of all the good, the bad, and the ugly,
EVERYTHING we created together in any life.
We asked for all possibilities to be opened up beyond everything we have ever been, done and defined
all of us to be open to us creating now and for the future...
I get that what we will choose to be now … will have a ripple effect on our “lives” in 5, 50, 500 years!!! (and more)
As I sit here and write to you I am aware of my mum my dad beside me.
I don’t “see them” I perceive them.
And with that perceiving, there is the difference.
Perceive is all-encompassing without judgment of who or what they are and be.
Without definition. I do not box them as they were from any life. I allow them to be whatever
they choose to be, and they in turn allow me.
That perception brings a vastness of all-knowing, of who they are as beings (only on that
in that 10 seconds we all change so much when we allow it).
It brings in space beyond all judgment in this life, ( or any other life), and that my friends,
is indescribable in words.
This is such a gift.
Thank you for the tools of Access Consciousness.
So as I leave you with that, can I ask you a question...
Who or what is in your psychic space?
What can you receive from them that you are not allowing yourself to?
Thanks, Mum and Dad for all your energetic hugs that you gift me.
I am so grateful that I and my body can receive x
Jeni Be CF
Choosing to LIVE my Life by Jeni Be
How do you live your life? By enjoying every moment?
Or by focusing on what is not working for you?
I lived a lot of my life focused on what was not right about my life and what I had to fix to make it better: “If I can find the wrong, I can eliminate it and make it right.”
So what was wrong in my life?
I was not happy about any aspect of my life. And while I was all about fighting the wrong in my life,
was not able to celebrate what I did have.
Trying to identify all my problems to fix them didn’t work or make life better. All it did was make me focus on the wrong even more. I became so diminished in my life that I ended up in a wheelchair. My body was not happy with me, I was not happy with me. I hated my life and I disregarded so much of me that I was at rock bottom.
I realized that I could continue increasing the judgments against me, or I could do something very different and treat myself and my life with more kindness. I started with these 5 steps:
1: Get a session of “Access Bars”
I’ve tried so many treatments and processes in 40 years—so, so many! Access Bars is a gentle body process that stops the mind whirling. It dynamically nurtures the body, which we so rarely
allow. If you are out of practice with being kind to you or your body, Access Bars is a great place to start, because all you have to do is lie down and receive it.
2: Be kind to you
When you give yourself a hard time, what does that create for you? We’ll easily treat or talk to ourselves far more harshly than we’d ever do to another—isn’t that strange? Imagine treating you with nurturing guidance and kindness as you change things in your life. What would change if you were kind to you, and not critical?
3: Take off your judgement glasses
Everyone has a different perspective on . Test it out: ask someone what color you are wearing today. Some might say blue, navy, indigo, blue/purple. Why is that? We see things in the world through our own well-worn lenses. What if no perspective was right, wrong, or true, just interesting? Without judgments, even your own points of view are just interesting, and you do not have to let them stop or limit you.
4: Get clear on what you’ve been choosing
What are your judgments and “rules” about how you should be? What is it that you choose every day that keeps you in the same old repetitive behaviors and reactions? Be vulnerable and honest with you, and acknowledge what you’ve been choosing and thinking that isn’t working for you. And don’t judge! Be willing to see what you’ve been choosing, without judging any of it, and the door will open for you to choose something different.
5: Focus on the things that work out well
Are you grateful for what does work in your life? We can easily dismiss these things when life isn’t perfect. But when you acknowledge and celebrate what does work—yes, — that’s an invitation for more of it to come. When something doesn’t work, don’t judge it, ask, “What else is possible?” In the bigger picture of your life, what truly matters: Judging you? Or celebrating you and acknowledging you can choose again? What you focus on, grows. The power and choice are yours.
With these steps, my life and living opened up dynamically. When I gave up trying to fix the wrongs and celebrated me instead, I giggled more, laughed more, chose things that made me happy. I also lost things: I lost a wheelchair (yay!) and I lost weight. As I got happy and stopped moaning about my life, I even lost some toxic friendships.
Six years on, I continue to use these steps. I am happier, healthier, and more vibrant in my life.
Gone is the anxiety, the depression. The wrongness and judgments of me are easier to change and much less than they’ve ever been.
The biggest change is with me. My life has a new lease of joy and abundance—the kindness and celebration available grows each day. I no longer wonder what is wrong, I wonder what else is possible now?
Jeni Be is an Access Consciousness® Certified Facilitator and a Psychotherapist who has been working with clients for over 27 years.
Before "on the spectrum" was commonly used, Jeni was labelled as sensitive,cognitively slow, and hyper—or to put it another way—different.
Jeni’s life blossomed and thrived when she discovered Access X-Men tools, which taught a different way to be with all the world, celebrating difference without definition, limitation, rightness or wrongness.
She now facilitates classes and clients worldwide, inviting others to a world of joy and excitement in life and living. www.jenibe.com
When I look back 6 years ago my life was so different ... I was contained by an illness that I allowed to rule me. I had lost my way with me. The labels and diagnosis of the autoimmune disease, that I chose, did not allow me to question anything of it. I believed the medics knew everything I had no choice but to be enslaved by the illness.
I bought the package of DISEASE and DIAGNOSIS hook line and sinker. I sunk deep in depression and suicidal thoughts. Shrinking from the pain I thought if I made myself small enough I would be free from it.
Then along came access bars, MTVSS and 3 day Body class with Shannon O'Hara and my first ever recordings of an X-Men class with Dain Heer Houston Feb 2013, that blew my mind. These were just 2 of the 'key facilitators' that showed me a way with themselves, and the world in the very beginning that enthralled me, creating a dance in my world, their difference resonated with me.
Did I have the audacity to even believe I could be an X-Men?
There was much in the X-Men class that mirrored my perception of the world around me, much that resonated with the fight against this reality I had always been. Could I ever be that different that magical?
My journey has continued daily, hourly, in 10-second increments. seeking out Diva Diaz attending 2 X-men classes in 3 months, I asked to intern with her. Working with learning so much about Díva Diaz her different X way and uniqueness. I am so very grateful for her & the gift of her ongoing journey for 9 years with X-Men.
Mainly the key points were, asking questions to me, getting out of conclusion, definition, heaviness and smallness. My tenacity of consciousness, always winning through. Asking questions always asking and striving for more, knowing one day I would love to facilitate these X-Men classes.
The years roll on and we begin to give birth to a worldwide exploration of Access X-Men and add new Speciality facilitators. I took my first telecall on X-Men nearly 3 years ago!
Now we have over 13 facilitators worldwide (www.accesconsciousness.com/xmen)
My journey is always to be me ...' an undiscovered possibly'. There is no end ( would an infinite being have an end?)
The diagnosis has never changed, I will always be labelled by the medical professions, with this illness.
(please note i do not see that is wrong) . That is THEIR way of seeing me. With that I do not choose to be enslaved by it, rather I have worked with all the symptoms and continue to ask to choose and create my life in a different way! Working with rather than against!
What else is possible to journey with the Undiscovered Possibility with you?
If you would like to Journey with us ( and the ones already signed up ) them please choose ... we would love to have you the ones that are always asking for more !!!
“The source of any change and possibility lies in the awareness of the limitations you have chosen.” Gary Douglas
The tenacity of Consciousness !! The Undiscovered Possibility if this is for you check it out here
www.jenibe.com/undiscovered is 6 part telecall that is the pre reqequite ( or foundation if you have it)
for the 2 Day class live and LIVE streamed Here www.jenibe.com/verschillend
#unique #differentnotwrong #flawsome#accessxmen #speciality #adventure #journey#wonderland
Listen to some testimonials here
The greatest gift of access consciousness is allowing me to perceive the possibilities beyond the black and the white, the right or the wrong.
Just now and then there seems to be a what I call a "consciousness curveball" that makes me really look where i am functioning and at what else is possible?
I sat in my house working on my computer, still early morning in this small rural 1-acre plot, a piece of land and peace of space we call Scottish home.
I glanced out at the view I had created ...
the Acorns and shrubs I had nursed from seed, slowly growing blossom in the early summer sun,
The 7 bird feeders dotted around the mature trees in the garden, the woodpeckers, the pigeons, the little red chaffinches, the yellow-headed finches and the beloved pheasants that wander around the bird feeders,
was in awe of the beautiful wildlife that frequent my garden. Only the day before the little stag that came into the garden late evening to eat my little budding shrubs.
I went through the gift of this plot of land, the 8-year search to find it, taking nearly 4 years to build the house and the journey of landscaping it that is slowly blossoming and inviting so much joy of nature for me to interact with...
So you ask what is the curveball?
Well as I sat there watching the lady pheasant, picking at the dropped bird seed, a man came in my garden, snuck up behind the tame bird, ( its a size of a large chicken ) put it under his arm and wrung its neck and walked off with it!
I was shocked and was instantly outside and running to the man shouting at him. He was very shaken and silent to be caught, didn't know quite what to say apart from apologising as he had shot it and didn't want it to be injured.
The shooting season of these birds is over 4 months away, this lovely lady bird had a nest of eggs in our garden, I was shocked that anyone would even kill a bird like this time of year...
what was next ? the deer that frequented my garden?
I stood there in my morning pyjamas hurling an energy at this man beyond any anger or fury, shouting at this man his un-acknowledgement of the consequences of his action. He had dropped the bird, it lay at my feet not quite dead, i asked him to kill to properly. His friend got out of the car that was parked nearby, saying he was sorry too. and they both walked off and left bird. I called to them to take it, "If you were killing it for fun you can dispose of it or eat it."
I took their vehicle number plate as they drove off.
Totally shocked that anyone would come in my garden it did not ring true that they had shot her, I could see not wound, my mind was racing, the emotions churning.
My mind kept going to the grief the rage the "trying to understand their actions", "Who would choose to do such a thing?"
I knew that aligning or agreeing with any point of view would not help the bird or me. So I kept asking what is right about this I am not getting what else is possible here? As my body wracked sobs i asked what does 'Pheasy pheasent' know? Instantaneously she was there, her energy.
I howled with sorrow this beautiful bird I had seen been raised as a chick over the past year, fed & frequented my garden every day was now was gone. What is RIGHT about this I am not getting?
I received her and energetically played with her energy for what was probably a minute or so but seemed like a lifetime.
I know that locking in a point of view of her as a victim would not create anything, I asked her to show me what to be or do with all of this i was aware of?
I called the police, we live in a cul de sac of 5 houses, with adults and young kids, surrounded by fields. A man with a gun should not have even been in this area of houses shooting birds.
The police came to my house, while they understood it was upsetting, I did not own the bird, it's wild, and while men should not have come in my garden it's only a pheasent bird. As we sat there, I asked for 'Pheasy Pheasent' and everything that was consciousness around me to offer their contribution to resolve this better than I had ever hoped.
"What is right about this I am not getting consciousness to show me?
What if I did not fight for right or wrong what else is possible?"
As the police sat there talking to me their radios went off, a loud informative cackle. The man who killed ' Pheasy ' had gone to the police station handed in his guns, and himself for shooting out of season. The police had taken his guns ( that he did have a licence for). The man was contrite, apologetic and said he was sorry that he had upset me so much. He had never known this action could affect others, in this way and he was obliged to hand in his guns.
As we sat there pondering this choice, listening to the sergeant on the police radio, the male pheasent came in the garden flapping his wings calling to his mate. It was a moment where it was a joy to see him, a pang of sadness and also knowing that life has a cycle. The eggs while not being sat by the female, would feed another creature. He, in turn, will find another mate. and the world has one less man without a shotgun.
What did this female pheasent create for us all? What else is available in these curve balls of consciousness? What else is possible that we have never considered?
For me knowing that fighting this man and taking the opposite viewpoint that he was bad and I was right did not create my world, it was still a judgment on my part. The "ask" of going beyond the right or wrong here is what created the choice for me.
That moment of change for me, to know to ask for all of the consciousness and the planet to assist ...
Consciousness does not throw curve balls it does not judge!
What it does do is offer facilitation in everyday moments around us. Question, choice and possibility open up the contribution from all spaces and places. Thank you universe and Pheasy Pheasent for having my back... now my ask is .. what female can we invite to be a mate for your male bird? What other creatuers can come to play in my garden what joy and wonderment is there beyond this reality?
What else is possible that we have never considered in with and through the world around us?
What are YOU creating with your Point of views? What can you change? what can you invite in beyond point of view, what if it as it is an ongoing ask WITH EVEYTHING?
with huge and kindness
Jeni Be is a worldwide Access Consciousness Certified Facilitator & X-Men Facilitator
inviting you to a world of possibilities where no limitation is greater than you.
Read more about or contact Jeni here www.jenibe.com
The 3 steps to heaven~ my Dad, death and me...
My husband and I moved in with my Dad a year after my mum's sudden death. My dad actually did not need help he was independent, we were building a house, he was helping us out. It was an easy choice for us all.
What surprised me was after 30 years of living apart from my Dad, I was under his roof again and something occurred that was not cognitive;
I lost my adult self.
I had returned to the family patterns of being a child, I re-entered this download, of a kind of full picture and energy of "his house/ His rules".
It was an unsaid contact between us, an energetic blueprint of how I should be in his space. When he said something I jumped to attention I reacted to create his demand. If I didn't do that as a child I would get raged at or even a smacked bottom. I 'knew" as a 44-year-old woman he wasn't going to hit me BUT it was weird!!! I was reacting as if he would. I could perceive all this "happening" and the memories of this. I asked to choose something else. I began to unpack this situation for me with the access tools.
As a child I had all the symptoms of being autistic, I was brought up in a society that "being on the spectrum" was not yet a word or world of support. I struggled with being different in a world that could not receive me. I am only now as an adult learning to be with all that I am aware of. My mum and dad called me sensitive and hyper-reactive. To work with me they placed strong limitations on me to stop my "disruptiveness ".
Nowadays I would be called on the spectrum of ADHD, OCD autistic.
My dad was a force to be reckoned with, he was an energetic bulldozer, he would direct his energy, his way of how I should be, on to me as a kid. His anger was like a physical blow to me, I could hear his thoughts, his intentions of how he wanted me to be, there was no question of what I required it was always done as I say!
I lived my childhood in the box of who I should be. I did everything to work within this box so I did not get floored by this force. I did not know I was psychically aware but I knew when my dad was coming home. I would "hear" his car from miles away, and would read his mood. If he was stressed from work I would quickly draw him a picture or find a favourite magic trick to show him as he came in the door. I knew if I changed his mood it would be easier on my mum and sister, and our evening meal would be more fun together.
All these memories of who I was and what I did as a child to "save" the situation and disrupt his angry mood from the family. With the family, I was a chameleon. I was always changing for others, this allowed the ease and flow of happy energy into the family. I now note that who I should be for them did not include much of who I am or be.
As I began to acknowledge this from my adult space, I knew I had to change this. My own reaction to this remembering me was an eruption of a volcano of anger, that had been suppressed for so long it flew out of me. I saw where I was in survival mode against this man and his anger for all of my life. I was so grateful to have the access tools this time. I used many to help dissipate this deeply suppressed anger.
I unpacked more of my childhood responses at this time and began to get more of the pieces. Asking for all the projections, expectations, rejections, separations and judgements, of me, from me and about me. What I energetically heard from Dad, my Mum my grandparents.
I ran the clearing statements on this for months as brought up the judgment of me and I began to let it all go.
I also ran so many access creating loops and listened to an amazing telecall called distractor implants from Gary Douglas and Dain Heer again and again. There were a lot of lies and bought points of view about the "who I should be in this family". What I should react to with anger, & rage and how my Dad used this to control situations.
I began to see more of these reactions play out;
like I was so on edge to "hear" his reactions, I perceived them and was instantly aware of what would happen after that anger hit. I would attempt to change this by taking on all of that, all of who he was, as me.
Like some survival response, if I could duplicate that energy, I could clear it from him through me before it hit me or the family. I acknowledged what a gift of a child I was for this family. What I did to survive those energies.
Using the "Who does it belong? " tool for 6 months on every thought feeling, sensation and emotion i "had" allowed me to find out more of pieces of this full pattern, that were not my own points of view or energies.
After 14 months I was clearer of who I was in his space. ( Yes, this is a way of being me I had to re-learn it was not an overnight thing.) I began to honour me more and in turn, this allowed me to acknowledge my Dad as who he was beyond what I had previously thought. In essence, I saw him as a man with faults yes he was forceful and angry and he had a kindness beyond what I had known before as my Dad. That anger of what he "did to me" where he didn't allow me to be me, began to dissipate.
I acknowledged that; I also did not allow me to be me, so what if I can choose this now? This was the gift of Access Consciousness to remove the blame and anger and open up questions and possibilities of different choices. I had cleared my point of view of blame, resentment and anger and more.
Things changed, even more, when my Dad was diagnosed with terminal heart problems. This strongly energetic man became even stronger and more forceful, while his body became even frailer. He was still with his strong projections of who he thinks I should be and how I should act. I stepped up my way of non-reaction to him. When he was angry, where I would normally react, I dropped my barriers and resistance to this and asked a question to myself to be different .. I opened up to him more. I spoke about the honouring and of who he is, what he created in his life with business, his pragmatic choices, my mum and the love between them. Importantly that without this I would not be who I am today.
What opened up between us was the more I became vulnerable and without reaction, and able to be in all spaces with him, the more he was able to allow me to be me. In turn, he became this vulnerable man that allowed his barriers to drop too.
Even at these difficult months of this painful death we spoke a lot about life, death, dying and the end. We became closer and he began to honour and acknowledge me in a different way.
Gary Douglas said in a recent call "When people do not see when you are being you, they will invalidate you": for most of my life, I had tried to be for everyone what they needed me to be. I divorced my own self in favour of who I believed that I should be, for Dad, for Mum, for family, for friends for my husband. The access tools have given me the choice to choose a new me, to honour me, to allow me to be beyond all the wrongness, to JUST BE ME.
I have the greatest gift,
My Dad died holding my hand, he left me acknowledging the gift I was was him and most of all to me :) I am very grateful to have had these tools at this time.
Jeni Be is a worldwide Access Consciousness Certified Facilitator & X-Men Facilitator inviting you to a world of possibilities where no limitation is greater than you.
Read more about or contact Jeni here www.jenibe.com
Wrong? or Strong? by Jeni Be CF
During my 20's and 30's I struggled with illness , with pain. I spent much of my time in the doctors surgery and hospitals getting tests. The doctors were very helpful but could find nothing 'conceivably wrong' that they could fix. I was labelled depressed ,anxious , sensitive and get this " allergic to the 21st century " .. ( yes really!!!)
Ever seeking change, I studied alternative therapies, counselling and became a psychotherapist.
In essence I was looking at ways to change me with the labels and disability I had been given. Was it any wonder that I couldn't change that which was someone else's label of what was wrong with me?
Part of the key in choosing something different came when I began to ask questions and look at other possibilities. I saw a Tour of a Consciousness video with Dain Heer asking "what if every wrongness is actually a strongness? "
And with every 'pain' I asked " what is the strongness here I am not aware of?"
That tool itself changed the 'cluster migraines' I had been suffering from . It allowed me to go out side 'the pain' and not be encompassed by it. Gifting that , minutes of change , before I asked the question again allowed me the relief to choose other possibilities.
Another tool that blew apart my world of wrongness , was the ' tool who does it belong to?
In acknowledging and continuing to acknowledge my ever expanding awareness. I began to become clearer with what in the world around me that, actually was not mine. There was much i 'resonated' with , thoughts feelings emotions, that had been labelled with as too sensitive.
In acknowledging what was not mine , I unpacked one if the biggest gifts ever, my awareness.
Awareness not just of thoughts , feelings, emotions, sensations of this others in this world we live in but the awareness of the full extent of the energetic download of information. In the past I have been so aware of this that I believed it must be mine.
And therefore 'wore' the pain on my body like my own.
The Access X-Men classes have gifted me the tools and acknowledgment of how I function in this world . How I am aware of others, and how I can be at ease with this. It's not sensitivity , it's not hyper acuteness , it's not dysfunction , it's not a wrongness . It's AWARENESS and it's a CAPACITY!
Would you like to discover your own capacities? Your own awarenesses about you?
More of Access X-Men with Jeni Be Here
And Access Conscousness site Here
Welcome to the world of Jeni BE