A Different View on Death and Dying by Jeni Be
I found this today .. I wrote it 3 years ago and never posted it...
Today is the anniversary of my Fathers death .. one year on…
In these circumstances tears are normal, and yes I have cried a lot today.
My body would love a big hug from him! A squidgy Daddys & little girl hug that I & my body misses.
A hug that says it will be all right I am here…Its ok, me and your mum have you.
It is easy to go into grief and cry and sob.. and remember what I and my body has ‘lost'.
and ….with the gift of access tools, there is an allowance and space of more,
much more to be available to me … yes, there are other possibilities !!!
What is it with Grief?
what Possibilities are they you might ask...
Part of this is so totally beyond words, its energies we shut ourselves down from .
Would you allow me to explore that with you ?
Well…When My Dad was still "alive" he would dismiss any of this choice beyond death as “Mumbo Jumbo”.
He firmly believed, “ when you're Dead! ...end of !..you are Dead’.
It was a conversation he had many walls up against and wouldn’t receive the discussion of anything beyond
his point of view.
“I am a man of science” he would say. As if that determined it all.
I on the other hand always was asking about the beyond, searching and seeking for whoever could shine a
light on what I knew was possible, that I did not know yet how to word.
My journey is never-ending like a quest for more I continue to search to ask and to choose. I ask what is
lighter beyond what we are taught told and the defined and confined view on death.
When he was dying of terminal heart failure, we had a few deep discussions of possibilities beyond the normal
way of thinking. We spoke of Columbus and his sailing to the ‘edge of the world” the fact that many
never believed there were possibilities beyond flat earth.
We spoke about religion and the fixed beliefs that brings up, the power of where only a certain few can
“talk to the Deceased’…
He still saw anything beyond his fixed point of view as 'mumbo jumbo’.
The fear that death brings up is strange to me as I see it so much as the birth of something else.
I held his hand, a year ago when he was taking the last breath in his body, there was a fear there and
also something else ...a new energy , an adventure of possibilities.
As gave him some symphony of possibilities energies, there was a sharp breath and a sigh and he left his body.
With tears running down my face I journeyed with him into a space of all infiniteness …
the fear that he had, was gone, he beamed a smile and a golden glow that I have no words for…
and he dispersed into a space that was so vast, I could not follow.
His ‘dead” body called me. I put my hands on it and gifted the processes I knew Gary Douglas and
Dain Heer would gift. My own body howling and racking with sobs …
I honoured and was grateful for all his body had given me, given him and been for all of the family.
For truth, if it wasn’t for his body, my body would not be here :)
For 3 weeks after he died his body asked me to gift and receive energies with it.
This was something that truly amazed me, this consciousness of the body, the ongoing gift of the body.
I am so grateful, honoured and privileged to receive this gift of wonderment.
When both of my parents died, we continued to chat. Some may see this as my own 'mind creation'.
I percieve somethng so differnt.
We would chat and clear points of view, to let go of all the good, the bad, and the ugly,
EVERYTHING we created together in any life.
We asked for all possibilities to be opened up beyond everything we have ever been, done and defined
all of us to be open to us creating now and for the future...
I get that what we will choose to be now … will have a ripple effect on our “lives” in 5, 50, 500 years!!! (and more)
As I sit here and write to you I am aware of my mum my dad beside me.
I don’t “see them” I perceive them.
And with that perceiving, there is the difference.
Perceive is all-encompassing without judgment of who or what they are and be.
Without definition. I do not box them as they were from any life. I allow them to be whatever
they choose to be, and they in turn allow me.
That perception brings a vastness of all-knowing, of who they are as beings (only on that
in that 10 seconds we all change so much when we allow it).
It brings in space beyond all judgment in this life, ( or any other life), and that my friends,
is indescribable in words.
This is such a gift.
Thank you for the tools of Access Consciousness.
So as I leave you with that, can I ask you a question...
Who or what is in your psychic space?
What can you receive from them that you are not allowing yourself to?
Thanks, Mum and Dad for all your energetic hugs that you gift me.
I am so grateful that I and my body can receive x
Jeni Be CF
Choosing to LIVE my Life by Jeni Be
How do you live your life? By enjoying every moment?
Or by focusing on what is not working for you?
I lived a lot of my life focused on what was not right about my life and what I had to fix to make it better: “If I can find the wrong, I can eliminate it and make it right.”
So what was wrong in my life?
I was not happy about any aspect of my life. And while I was all about fighting the wrong in my life,
was not able to celebrate what I did have.
Trying to identify all my problems to fix them didn’t work or make life better. All it did was make me focus on the wrong even more. I became so diminished in my life that I ended up in a wheelchair. My body was not happy with me, I was not happy with me. I hated my life and I disregarded so much of me that I was at rock bottom.
I realized that I could continue increasing the judgments against me, or I could do something very different and treat myself and my life with more kindness. I started with these 5 steps:
1: Get a session of “Access Bars”
I’ve tried so many treatments and processes in 40 years—so, so many! Access Bars is a gentle body process that stops the mind whirling. It dynamically nurtures the body, which we so rarely
allow. If you are out of practice with being kind to you or your body, Access Bars is a great place to start, because all you have to do is lie down and receive it.
2: Be kind to you
When you give yourself a hard time, what does that create for you? We’ll easily treat or talk to ourselves far more harshly than we’d ever do to another—isn’t that strange? Imagine treating you with nurturing guidance and kindness as you change things in your life. What would change if you were kind to you, and not critical?
3: Take off your judgement glasses
Everyone has a different perspective on . Test it out: ask someone what color you are wearing today. Some might say blue, navy, indigo, blue/purple. Why is that? We see things in the world through our own well-worn lenses. What if no perspective was right, wrong, or true, just interesting? Without judgments, even your own points of view are just interesting, and you do not have to let them stop or limit you.
4: Get clear on what you’ve been choosing
What are your judgments and “rules” about how you should be? What is it that you choose every day that keeps you in the same old repetitive behaviors and reactions? Be vulnerable and honest with you, and acknowledge what you’ve been choosing and thinking that isn’t working for you. And don’t judge! Be willing to see what you’ve been choosing, without judging any of it, and the door will open for you to choose something different.
5: Focus on the things that work out well
Are you grateful for what does work in your life? We can easily dismiss these things when life isn’t perfect. But when you acknowledge and celebrate what does work—yes, — that’s an invitation for more of it to come. When something doesn’t work, don’t judge it, ask, “What else is possible?” In the bigger picture of your life, what truly matters: Judging you? Or celebrating you and acknowledging you can choose again? What you focus on, grows. The power and choice are yours.
With these steps, my life and living opened up dynamically. When I gave up trying to fix the wrongs and celebrated me instead, I giggled more, laughed more, chose things that made me happy. I also lost things: I lost a wheelchair (yay!) and I lost weight. As I got happy and stopped moaning about my life, I even lost some toxic friendships.
Six years on, I continue to use these steps. I am happier, healthier, and more vibrant in my life.
Gone is the anxiety, the depression. The wrongness and judgments of me are easier to change and much less than they’ve ever been.
The biggest change is with me. My life has a new lease of joy and abundance—the kindness and celebration available grows each day. I no longer wonder what is wrong, I wonder what else is possible now?
Jeni Be is an Access Consciousness® Certified Facilitator and a Psychotherapist who has been working with clients for over 27 years.
Before "on the spectrum" was commonly used, Jeni was labelled as sensitive,cognitively slow, and hyper—or to put it another way—different.
Jeni’s life blossomed and thrived when she discovered Access X-Men tools, which taught a different way to be with all the world, celebrating difference without definition, limitation, rightness or wrongness.
She now facilitates classes and clients worldwide, inviting others to a world of joy and excitement in life and living. www.jenibe.com
Welcome to the world of Jeni BE